Get Out of Your Own Way

If you’re having trouble finding the success that you desire, there’s a strong probability that self-sabotage could be holding you back. There are many reasons why people sabotage themselves and prevent themselves from experiencing success — but instead of focusing on those reasons, how about focusing on getting out of your own way so that you can be successful?

How does that work? Start with an experiment. For the next month, rethink the way you do things. Instead of placing blame when things don’t go your way, figure out what could have been done differently, and make it a point to go that different way if a similar situation should occur again.

Instead of letting your problems paralyze you, find a way act positively to make things better. Even a small improvement can turn things around and put you on the path to a more successful life.

Admit Your Self-Sabotage

If you’re engaging in self-sabotaging behavior it’s important to admit it, and name it. If you don’t admit to having a problem you can’t get to the solution. It’s not because everyone is getting in your way. It’s not the fault of the weather, or your spouse, or your kids. It’s not even because you’re sick. It’s because you’re letting self-defeating behavior get in the way of your success.

You may need to take some time to figure out what your particular self-sabotaging behaviors are. Try looking at each situation that got you to where you are without emotion, mapping them on paper to figure out what your pattern is. Once you identify a pattern, you’ll be able to go to the next step.

Replace Self-Sabotage with Healthy Behavior

Now that you’ve named the self-sabotaging behavior that holds you back, it’s time to replace it with something more healthy. Flip around your negative self-talk, responding in positive ways instead of reacting emotionally in negative ways. Try doing something new and uplifting instead of the damaging things you’ve always done. They say the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different response. So change things up and respond differently.

Ask better questions of yourself during each situation. Don’t go back to what’s comfortable to you; push past your comfort zone and come up with new answers to better questions. No one ever succeeds in life without taking some risks. Learn to evaluate the risks, and take solid steps toward the answers.

Practice Believing in Yourself

Now that you know how to respond differently, it’s important to practice your responses. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit. It’s going to take you that long to replace those old self-sabotaging habits with new positive response habits. You may make a few mistakes along the way, but it’s important to stick with it and not fall back into your old patterns of behavior.

You may find that you need a little help getting to the point of recognizing self-sabotaging behavior. If so, you can seek the assistance of a life coach or a counselor to help you recognize when you’re slipping. But, more than likely if you choose to go on this path, you’ll soon become a new person, accomplishing more than you ever thought possible.

Visit NormaEsler.com for information about how I can help. Once there, you can book a coaching session, sign up for a daily encouraging email, and browse my collection of helpful, affirming articles. I’m cheering for you! Norma